躁鬱旅程

近況＆出書逾期說明  （與友人的通訊）
                                 
Linda~ Miss you~ How have you been? Is everything alright?
Wish You Healthy & Happy~   Slow From Taiwan  2019/8/20

Linda~想念妳。妳好嗎？ 一切都好嗎？ 祝妳健康快樂

Hi Slow. How are you? I miss you too.
How is the book coming? How is your health?
My health is not good. I am fighting with a lot of pain. I hope for relief soon.
My Dr appt is next week. Keeping my thoughts positive. I miss you     2019/8/20
嗨，slow，你好嗎？我也想念你。你要出書的後續如何了？還有你的健康情形？我的狀況不太好，我正面對一堆疼痛，我希望能儘快緩解。下週我約了門診，我保持正面想法來面對現在處境。我想念你。

Dear Linda, I'm sorry to hear that you're fighting with a lot of pain.
Do you know what happened to your body? 
I hope you get pain relief as soon as possible.
親愛的Linda，很遺憾聽到你正面對一堆疼痛。你知道你的身體出了什麼問題嗎？希望你能儘快緩解疼痛。

As for me , I live in peace.
My health situation is getting better day by day under my efforts.

至於我，我很平安。在我的努力下，日復一日我越來越健康。

The Writing Book Plan has temporarily delayed.
Last year My friend Captain told me that "You're not ready for publishing the book.
It's not the right time yet.
Because your heart and mind is not stable & strong enough
for the situation which after the book publishing  people search and find you out then attack you.
Once you can't confront on this kind of situation or can't control your emotion,
then everything you did ( the Book) will be all in vain."

寫書的計畫暫時延遲了。去年我的隊長告訴我：「你還沒準備好出版這本書。現在還不是時候。因為你的心智（精神力量）還不夠穩定、還不夠強壯去面對當書出版後人們把你找出來並攻擊你的情況。因為一旦你無法面對這樣的情況，或你因為受攻擊而情緒不穩定，那你（為呼籲精神醫療改革與精障人權）所做的一切就白費了。

I think her words make sense.
Due to this (or if i'm gettin start to be lazy?) ,
I start to spend more time on taking care of my body,mind and spirit.
Furthermore, the school pass the rule of position taking turns.
I need to learn new subject , preparing for being homeroom teacher.

我想隊長說的有道理。因此（還是因為我變懶惰了？）我開始花更多時間在照顧自己的身體、心智與靈魂。而且，校方通過了職位輪動機制。我需要學習新的科目教學，為日後當導師做準備。

Based on the reasons above, the writing book plan has delayed.
Although the plan is slow down now, i already have all the material i need to write a book.
And i will keep wirting my blog and writing the book bit by bit until the day ( I get ready for the storm) come.
The book is always on my mind.

基於以上原因，我延遲出書的計畫。雖然這個計畫現在慢下來了，但我已經準備好寫書的材料。我會持續寫部落格跟一點一點的寫書直到我準備好面對風暴的那天到來。我一直將出書的事放在心上。

Hope you have relief in Body& Soul ~

祝福你身心放鬆

Sincerely, yours
Slow                           2019/8/21

Slow  I'm so happy to hear your health and spirit are getting better.
You deserve to be at peace because you are such a beautiful soul.
I think your friend is right to suggest you wait.
You are not lazy. It is being smart.
Perhaps even until after retirement. Then you will be more prepared emotionally, mentally, and financially.
I know you are anxious to spread the news to fellow sufferers.
But you must ask yourself if you want to live the life of a martyred. Or live the life of a healed, aware, and wise warrior.
It is a choice. And when you have come to a place in your heart that you know and understand,
then you will know which choice to make. You will know in your heart.

Slow，聽到你身心邁向康健很替你開心。你是個美麗的靈魂，值得享受平安。我認為你的朋友建議你出書的事再等等是對的。你不是懶惰。這麼做是聰明的。或許等到你退休後再出書，等到那時在情緒上、心智上、經濟上你都會準備得更好。我知道你急著將精神藥物毒害的訊息傳播給受苦的病友。但你必須問自己：你想成為烈士（殉道者）？還是成為療癒、覺醒、明智的戰士？而當你到了清楚與理解的心中之地，那時你便會知道要如何做決定。

As to my pain, they are doing tests. It is from my back and spine.
All the nerves in the body run through the bones in the back or the vertebra.
They think I have some compressed nerves which are causing pain in my right leg.
Some days it is so painful to walk that I just avoid it,
which is difficult because I have to care for myself and my mother who lives with me.
So it is a daily struggle. Hopefully there is a solution for this.
Still waiting for my Dr. appointment.

至於我的疼痛，醫院做了檢查，疼痛來自於我的背部和脊柱。所有的神經會走經我們背部的骨頭與脊椎。他們認為我右腿的疼痛來自於受壓迫的神經。有時候痛到走路實在太痛苦了，我盡量避免走動，但這很難，因為我得照顧自己和與我同住的母親。所以這是個每日的掙扎。希望有解決之道，我仍然等待著醫院門診。
 

Anyways it is so great to hear from you. I always keep you in my thoughts.
Hope to return for a visit some day.
Or if you ever want to visit Florida you are my welcome as my guest.           2019/8/22
無論如何聽到你的消息真好。我一直將你放在心上。希望有一天能回臺灣拜訪，或是如果你想來佛羅里達玩，歡迎你當我的客人。

Linda,

What you said -"if you want to live the life of a martyred. Or live the life of a healed, aware, and wise warrior. It is a choice.
And when you have come to a place in your heart that you know and understand,
then you will know which choice to make. You will know in your heart. " really touch me and persuasive.

Linda,你說的「你必須問自己：『你想成為烈士（殉道者）？還是成為療癒、覺醒、明智的戰士？而當你到了清楚與理解的心中之地，那時你便會知道要如何做決定。』」很有說服力，觸動了我。

You know me, i really feel anxious  about the speed too slowly to spread the news to fellow sufferers,
but i also worry about that the news which i spread out will arouse quarrels and fightings.

你果然懂我，我確實急著將精神藥物毒害的訊息傳播給受苦的病友，但同時我也擔心我散發的資訊會引起爭吵與鬥爭。

I wanna find out a way not to hurt or make bad influence on anyone.
I still don't know how to do exactly, what i can do now is to live well , and let nature take its course.
我想要找出不傷任何人與造成負面影響的方法。我仍然不知道到底該怎麼做才好，我現在能做的就是好好過日子（把自己照顧好），順其自然。

Just as you said
" when you have come to a place in your heart that you know and understand, then you will know which choice to make. "
But I'm wondering if my body could let me use until the retirement day.

如同妳所說的：「當你到了清楚與理解的心中之地，那時你便會知道要如何做決定。」

但我對我的身體是否能撐到我退休的那天感到質疑。

I'm sorry to hear that  it's hard for you to walk with the pain caused by compressed nerves,
and what  even worse is you need to  take care of urself and ur Ma.

Hope the APPT with Dr can help u ,that will  relieve ur pain.

The Dr who i trust  is good at  dealing with the pain caused by compressed nerves.
It's a pity that the Dr is in Taiwan.I feel sorry that i can't give  you any assistance.......

很遺憾聽到妳的神經壓迫所以走路會痛，而且你還需要照顧自己和母親。希望門診的醫生能幫你緩解疼痛。

我信任的醫生蠻會處理神經壓迫造成的疼痛。可惜他在臺灣、我無法幫上妳的忙。

Thanks for ur invite.
Due to the brain damage from drugs, now my freedom of movement is limited by  mobile phone electromagnetic wave.

謝謝你邀我去玩。可是由於藥害傷到腦，現在我的行動自由受限於手機電磁波。

About one and a half years ago, the price of full-telecommunications service slumped dramatically,
so that most  people use cellphone with internet on.
The mobile phone electromagnetic wave make me headache.
So I nearly live a half- seclusion life.
I can't go to public places where people mass gathering, like bus/train stations,even the restaurants.

大約一年半前，臺灣的網路吃到飽服務大降價，以致於多數人的手機是開啟網路的狀態。連網的手機電磁波會讓我頭痛，所以我幾近過著半隱居的生活，我無法到人群集聚的公共場合，例如（火）車站，甚至是餐廳。

Hope someday i can recover, being strong enough to stand the cellphone  electromagnetic wave.
Until then if there is a chance i will visit you in Florida.

希望有一天我能復原到夠強壯能承受電磁波的傷害，到時候如果有機會的話我再到佛羅里達探望妳。

Wish we  growth  in Mind & Spirit.  願我們身心成長
Sincerely,yours

Slow from Taiwan           2019/8/24

Linda, could i use the dialouges last week we talked about the book and our recent daily life and developments ?
i wanna use it to post on my blog
for a article to introduce my development and explain why  the book schedule delayed.   2019/8/31

Linda,我能使用我們上個禮拜談到出書和近況的對話嗎？
我想寫篇文章來談我的近況與說明出書計畫延遲的原因，把它發佈在部落格上

Of course. I'm always on your side!   2019/8/31

當然，我會永遠支持你的!